5.10.2004

I am at a crossroads. I am tired of thinking about the future. I want to dwell in the now. I want to experience God and community now, not plan on experiencing it in the future, sometime.

For months I’ve been thinking about launching a program on purpose and vision within the congregation. It’s seemed as if it’s been coming at me from various directions; it’s seemed as if God was saying, “go and do this program; get it into your schedule; this will work.” But now, I’m just tired of even thinking about it, really. I don’t want to go that way, personally or corporately. I’m not sure I was hearing God after all. How embarrassing.

We’re all tired. We all lack resources. We need to experience God and community, but we’re tired of trying to figure out how to do that. I’m ready to ditch everything we’ve ever tried or are continuing to try. I’m ready to dynamite everything and start over. I just don’t have the guts.

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