It's 9:18 am. I should be working, but not yet. I am thinking (a dangerous thing). Every once in a while I go through this, this thinking thing. This is a time when I question whether or not there is somewhere else to be, whether or not there is something more to my calling I have yet to discover.

The thing that is on my heart once again is poverty. AIDS. Hunger. Disease. The things that happen in many places, but this morning (and lately) Africa has been on my heart. Blame it on Bono. Blame it on Jeff Sachs (The End of Poverty). Blame it on Jim Wallis (God' Politics and Sojourners). The poor are on my heart and I long to do more, to make more of my life and ministry.

The difficult thing as a pastor is realizing that, though virtually everyone I pastor would agree that ministering to the poor is the "Christian thing to do", I'm not sure how many would like the political answers and lifestyle challenges that come with that kind of a ministry and concern. I'm not sure how many of "my flock" are ready to go where I would like to go with this (though, I must admit, "where I would like to go" is still a bit foggy).

Is this something that can happen here and now? Or is God saying to me that the time to move on is drawing near?

Now, I know that all of my cool friends, especially those who already work among and for the poor and dispossesed, will tell me that what I do is important. I have no doubt that it is. The question is, is what I'm doing, what I'm supposed to be doing, now? Or is there a better place for me and a better person to pastor this church?


At 10:55 PM, Blogger Kenny said...

huge questions, stace. especially in your ... sitz im lieben (did i spell that right?) ... man, i wish i could give you a quick answer, but i can't. have you preached on responding to poverty? if so, how was it received? do you feel like you COULD, if you haven't? have you approached the leadership in the church about how THEY feel about it?

know i am praying for you ... WE are praying for you.


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